Unmarried Stepparents

Many children are raised in homes where the residential parent has re-partnered but not remarried. The new partner is in the position of being a stepparent to the child. The most important thing to remember about this relationship is that children form bonds based on emotional ties, not marriage certificates. An unmarried stepparent is in a parental role with the child.

Unmarried stepparents need parental permission to obtain medical care or to interact with the child's school. The custodial parent can create a simple written statement granting that permission.

Unmarried stepparents have almost no legal rights to the child they bond with. In most cases, should the parent and stepparent break up, the stepparent is not entitled to visitation, let alone custody.

If you are in a non-traditional family like this, remember that non-traditional arrangements may make the most sense for you. This may mean making arrangements for visitation after a break up, even though a traditional court would not grant it. What is important is the relationship the child has with the stepparent.

Protecting Your Family Page

When you are in a non-traditional family (one without marriage), you need to take some extra steps to protect your family. Because you do not have many of the automatic privileges granted by marriage, you need to think about how to put some provisions in place that will protect your rights.

Will

A will allows you to name your unmarried partner as your child's guardian. If your partner is your child's legal parent, this step is not necessary, but if paternity has never been established or there is no legal or biological bond, a will is a good way to protect your child's future. If you want your partner to inherit from you, you must create a will specifying this. If you don't, your assets will be divided among your relatives (child, parents, siblings, and so on).

Power of Attorney

If you want your partner to be able to have access to your financial affairs or make decisions or do transactions for you, you need a power of attorney which will grant him or her that authority.

Health Care Directive

Unless you name your partner as the person who has the right to make health care decisions for you and visit you in the hospital, those rights will be given to your immediate biological family (parents, siblings, etc.) 

Permissions

If you want your partner to be able to pick your child up from school, talk with teachers, or make medical decisions for your child, and he or she is not a legal parent, you need to create some written permissions giving him or her these rights. You don't want to end up in a situation where your child is in the ER and your permission is needed before treatment can be given. The good news is that ERs and doctors will treat your child without permission to save his or her life or limbs, but less urgent treatments do require parental permission.